I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
