it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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