Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
