Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
