gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
