Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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