doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
