There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
