Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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