you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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