Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
