bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
