So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
