I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You're like the curious george of whores
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't deserve a penis
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
