don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize