There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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