You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
