so that wasnt chicken after all
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
