Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
vagina is talking i cant
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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