when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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