I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
