sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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