Say something about gay babies.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize