We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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