the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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