O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
