Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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