How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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