super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is Oprah even human
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
