We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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