I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
