There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
