She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
