You're earring is so big in my mouth
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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