i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize