curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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