guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Your dad touched me again.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
