I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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