just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
