I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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