And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
