quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize