I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
