how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Someone came in the potted fern
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize