he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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