Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She said her name was "party"
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So many bounce houses so little time
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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