I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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