I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So vagazzling was a success
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
