I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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