so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
