i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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