it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
