ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
