dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my shit smells like andre
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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