Already got asked if we're dating
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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