i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
