Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
