I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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